Division Will Not Protect Us

Times are rough. There is an inclination to turn away from the danger, to isolate. Association with some may feel like an invitation to risk, to danger, to harm. This is an understandable reaction to fear. But the truth is that the only safety is in numbers, in standing firm and together. There is no advantage in turning our back on our allies, on people who suffer as much or more than we do for their difference from the norms of dominant culture.

We offer this reminder because, around the planet, we see evidence of division. 

• In Kenya, for example, newly state-recognized “third sex” intersex people are increasingly separating themselves from the rest of LGBT queerness in hopes that there is acceptance to be had if they don’t associate with stigmatized groups. They see and lean into their condition as medical, while the rest of the alphabet soup is a (“sinful”?) choice.
• In the UK, the emergence of the LGB Coalition has become the conservative wing of gay representation, offering a TERF-friendly approach to sexual-orientation diversity without engaging in gender expansiveness. While embraced by the Tories as a conservatively acceptable way to do Pride Month, they have regrettably not been rejected by the more liberal, current Labor government.
• In California, Governor Newsom inaugurated his new podcast by interviewing conservative Charlie Kirk, agreeing with him that transgender athletes make sports “very unfair.” He bases this opinion on general and biased perceptions rather than actual data about trans athletes or trans experience.
• In the US Senate, Democrats successfully thwarted an attempt to make bans for trans athletes a national law, but in doing so they left open the door for local communities making such bans. Instead of taking a firm stance against discrimination, they more or less supported it in communities with the votes to make it law.
• In the US, the carving out of Trans from LGBTQ comes in myriad forms, differing in degrees of toxicity, but is still harmful. Gays Against Groomers is a front for anti-trans propaganda, casting all gender expansive positions as child abuse. The expression/assertion “Gay not Queer,” with its generational preference for “legacy gays” and gay as “biologically” determined, denies gender expansiveness as part of gay identity and rejects “queer” both because it supports gender fluidity and is triggering as a slur term (Note: until reclaimed by the Gay Rights Movement, “gay” was a slur term, also).

From a position of political practicality, abandoning coalitional members of related rights advocacy makes no strategic sense. History shows that conceding one form of bigotry will not protect us from other dominant culture forms of it. That some think it might is a con by the authoritarian state. Fascists fear our unity and work to destroy it; do not help them!

More importantly, from a position of common cause, it is past time for all of us to see the links between sexual orientation and gender expansiveness. If you have ever been “clocked” or outed for being gay, it is probably not because you were caught engaging in a sexual act. More likely, the tone or inflection of your voice, the direction of your gaze, the physical gestures you made, etc. “gave you away.” In other words, your presentation of self did not match the cis/het gender norms of the dominant culture. You may well align with the gender you were assigned at birth based on the appearance of your genitalia, but your gender presentation does not fully align with the dominant culture norms for that gender if you pursue same-sex sexual encounters. And if you have passing privileges, bully for you! So do some trans people. Either way, there is more that links trans, gay, bi, and queer people than separates us. We have learned that within every letter of the alphabet soup there are diverse ways of inhabiting that identity; we have learned to accept and negotiate that diversity. Diversity and acceptance (including equity and inclusion) are the point!

Who you are and how you fit in the great collection of LGBTQIA+ identities is yours to be and figure out. Be who you are. Wear what you want. As long as there is legitimate adult consent, have sex with whomever you want to. Share or don’t share as much about your being as you want to with the world. THIS IS FREEDOM! But above all, don’t base your identity on (or imagine you can protect it by) denying others similar freedoms.

More importantly this: see how your safety, your autonomy is protected by finding common cause with others who are just as vulnerable (sometimes even more so!) as you are for being different from dominant, oppressive norms. And stop imagining that rejecting them or throwing them under the proverbial bus will somehow protect you. IT WON’T!!!

Division is not the answer. Prejudice will not protect us. We cannot appease an oppressor by turning on each other. Fight back. Together!